Mount St. Laundry

So, one of my goals for this week was to finish all the laundry in the house by Wednesday.  Turns out, I had so much dirty laundry backed up that, even with setting my alarm and changing a load over every hour, I wasn't able to finish it all.  How embarrassing!  Here it is, almost 5:00 on Thursday and I'm still doing laundry.  Granted, I was at the museum until about 4:00, so I've only done one load so far today.  But, still.

Laundry has always been a problem for me.  I've tried Flylady's method of a load a day for years.  But, something always comes along that keeps me from doing a load.  There are just always days in my life where I am running from morning to night with no time to stop.  Or, there are times when my back just won't allow me to get it done.  Then, the laundry backs up.  

Such a thing happened to me a few months ago.  My back was really hurting me.  I could barely even walk for a couple of weeks.  It was the worst it had been in years.  As a result, we were operating in emergency laundry mode.  You know, those times when you stay up late to wash a load, because you know if you don't you will be out of clean underwear tomorrow?  Or maybe you don't know.  Maybe that's just me.

Slowly, but surely I've been catching up.  But, when I say slowly, I mean s l o w l y.  I'd try to do a load or two every day, but didn't always have time to do two or more.  And of course, there were those days when I wasn't able to do even one load.  So, it never seemed as if I was making any progress.

Then, several days ago, I found a blog written by a woman who, I swear we were separated at birth!  The blog is called A Slob Comes Clean and it is written by a lady named Nony.  Like me, she is also a Flylady dropout.  Among the many, many things I've learned by reading her blog from the beginning (I still haven't caught up.  I think I'm reading posts from 2010 right now.) is that having a laundry day - a day when you do all the laundry in the house - actually works for some people.

You see, I had read from Flylady how the "best way" to do laundry was to do a load a day.  She sent out tons of email testimonials touting the benefits of a load a day and condemning doing it all at once.  Don't get me wrong, I learned a lot from Flylady and, if that works for you, great!  But, she often has a my-way-or-the-highway attitude about housekeeping.  And I bought into it.  I really believed that the only way to possibly keep up with laundry was by doing a load a day.  Except that I didn't keep up with the laundry.  Sure, if I had actually done a load every single day, I probably would have been okay.  But, that just never happened!

Then, I read Nony talk about how she prefers to do all her laundry at once and on a set day of the week.  When I read about how she loved the feeling of being "done" and not having to worry about it until the next week, I had one of those "duh" moments - one of the moments when you wonder why you never looked at something from that angle before.  I'd always thought of a laundry day as a horrible day full of nothing but my least favorite chore. 

But, a laundry day might be just what I need.  I would have that visible progress that I so often want.  I would actually be able to see the piles getting smaller and smaller until there were no more piles!  I would have a feeling of being done!  This is very unlike the load-a-day method where it seems to never end and you know you'll just be back again tomorrow.  Plus, I wouldn't even have to think about laundry again for a whole week!  Talk about freedom!

So, I am starting the process.  I think that Mondays might be the best day for me to have a laundry day, so I'll try that first.  It might end up moving to a different day, though.  I'll have to play around with it and see.  The first thing I have to do is get all the laundry done for this week (I'm starting late in the week).  And because I'm so backed up, there is a lot more laundry than just one week's worth.  That is why it is taking so long.  Hopefully, it won't take nearly as long from here on out. 

I'll keep you updated on how it goes.  But, I'm feeling hopeful that the laundry situation might start getting better!

Scrubbing the Shower Revisit

In honor of my post about my old routine of scrubbing the shower/tub to relieve stress (weird, I know), I thought I'd share a nifty tip I saw on Pinterest.  Here is the original pin.  All the instructions are in the comments below the picture.  It was a good thing, too, because when you actually click on the link, the blog post it takes you to is about something completely different.  I think someone just did a random search for the picture to use in their pin and didn't care what the blog was about.

The picture is of a Scotch-Bright dishwand.  The kind with a scrubby sponge on the end.  I've used one of these for years in the kitchen.  Why had I never thought to use it in the bathroom?

There is one slight difference between the one in that picture and the one I use.  Mine has a brush end instead of a sponge end.  Like this:

Since my current way of cleaning the shower was an old toothbrush, I figured that this would be perfect!  The brush on my kitchen scrubber was getting a little old and needed to be replaced, anyway.  So, I decided I'd just by a whole new brush for the kitchen and move the old one to the bathroom.

No more tiny toothbrush!

I like the idea of the brush better than a sponge since it can easily reach into the grout lines and scrub them clean.  Just like my old toothbrush.  Only much, MUCH faster!  With my old toothbrush, I would try to scrub a few lines of grout each time I took a shower (It got old fast and I couldn't always keep up the mildew since we have no ventilation in our bathroom).  When I took my "new" brush in the shower the other day, I was able to do an entire wall in half the time it took to do a couple of lines with my little old toothbrush.

So how does this work?  Easy!

1. First, get a dish brush from your grocery store.  It can be any brand, but you need the kind that holds soap in the handle.
2. Next, mix up some Dawn/vinegar miracle cleaner. (See recipe below)  Dawn really does work best for this.  I generally avoid name brands, but this one is worth it.
3. Fill the handle with the cleaner
4. Scrub away!  (You can even do this while taking a shower and save some time!)
5. Rinse well.

Scrub, scrub!

Dawn/Vinegar Miracle Cleaner

• You will need equal parts blue Dawn dish washing liquid and white vinegar.  
• Heat the vinegar in the microwave.
• Pour into a spray bottle or other container.
• Add the Dawn.  
• Shake to mix.  

I've used this now for two days and it is working great!  A quick scrub down of the shower and any traces of pink mildew were gone (What is that stuff anyway?  I can't be the only person with that problem in their shower!).  I also didn't have to worry about soap scum since this stuff is great at getting rid of it!  This one's a keeper!

Visible Progress

I had a routine in college. Whenever I got stressed out, I would scrub the tub in our dorm room (I lived in a suit with four other girls, but it had its own bathroom), then take a nice long soak.

It all started my freshman year. I had taken some Comet and the blue scrubby side of a sponge and started cleaning. As I did, you could literally see the dirt coming off as I wiped. It was disgusting. I have serious doubts that that tub had ever been cleaned since being installed in the 60's. When I finished with it, though, it was gleaming white. This made the results of my scrubbing easy to see. I knew that I was accomplishing something.

With four girls taking at least one, sometimes two showers a day, dirt built up in that tub pretty quickly, too. I think all the glaze had worn off the porcelain over the years, so it was pretty porous. It was always ready for a good scrubbing whenever I needed to work off the stress.

Then, when I was done, I could fill it with bubbles and take a nice long bath in the clean tub with a good book. The tub was deep, wide, and had the perfect back for lounging against. *sigh*

Nowadays, that doesn't really work. Not only is our tub shallow and narrow, it doesn't have a slanted side to lean against at all. I do still manage to take a bath, but it isn't nearly as relaxing. But the biggest problem is the color.

My bathtub is teal. That's right. Teal. You can't even see the dirt until you can also feel it. So, when I clean it, there is no visible sign of progress. In fact, if I miss spot, I won't even know until I notice that it is feeling rough with grime. Something that happens all to often. So, what is the result? I don't clean my tub as often as I should. Sometimes it won't get cleaned at all until I can feel the grime. Not just because you can't see the dirt, but because you can't see the results of all that hard work.

My ugly teal bathtub.  Notice how the back doesn't slant at all so you can lay back and relax?

This mentality is too often the case in my life. Especially in housekeeping. I want visible results! I want the big projects - the ones were my husband comes home and says, "You worked hard on that!" or "That looks really good!" or at least can notice that something has been done that day.  It is the everyday maintenance that I struggle with.

Don't get me wrong.  I don't let things get bad just so I, when I finally clean it, I get an atta' girl.  It is just hard for me to feel motivated to clean something when even I can't tell that anything has been done!

This is an area that I really struggle with.  I love having a clean house.  But, I have a hard time making myself clean something that already looks clean (or at least good enough).  Add to this the fact that I often don't see messes until they become disasters, and you have the makings of a bad housekeeper.

Weekly Goals: 7-15-12

As promised, here are my goals for the week:

Spiritual Life

• Read Bible daily (this means planning ahead on days I work and not just expecting I'll be alert enough when I get home)
• Be more consistent in praying for requests on my list
• Continue to work on being more joyful.

Family life

• Play a board game with the kids
• Have kids help with dinner on Thursday after their baseball game
• Take kids to the dentist (I'm actually sitting in the lobby as I type this and I'll post it when I get home.  Why not get something done while waiting and free up some time later to get some housework done?)

Home life

• Try to get all laundry done by the end of the day Wednesday.
• Clean the bathroom thoroughly
• Sweep basement
• Work more on playroom/schoolroom
• Go grocery shopping Friday

Church Life

• Plan for Sunday school.  I need to try to get the planning done for the entire 2 months.  That will just leave reviewing and praying each week.
• Attend church Wednesday
• Set up meeting with the Pastor to talk about Harvest fest.  Meeting can be any time in the next couple weeks.

Physical Life

• Write down every bite I eat!
• Lose at least 1 pound.  I lost one this past week and know I can do it again.
• Work on sleep schedule.  This may mean taking a Tylenol PM when I get home from work so I don't lay in bed for a couple hours before falling asleep.
• Drink more water.  I need to carry a bottle with me when I go out.
• Put on makeup every day

Social Life

• Go to the Creation Museum with a good friend and her kids.
• Possibly go to dance aerobics with my BFF this week.  I'm not sure of her schedule.
• Buy a birthday present for a party on Saturday

Financial life

• Update budget software daily
• Do not overspend!
• Go to the bank on Friday before grocery shopping
• Pay bills

Mental life

• Read new library books
• Continue working on blog

Homeschool Life

• Buy Math curriculum.
• Buy some Five in a Row books

Adding: It is a good thing I typed this while in the dentist's office.  We didn't get out until 1:00, leaving us an hour to get home, eat lunch, and me to get changed before taking the kids to my mom and going to work.  So much for getting housework done.

Week in Review: 7-8-12 (With no Guilt)

I didn't post my weekly goal review on Saturday.  Then, yesterday (Sunday) I didn't post my goals for this week.  Last night I went to bed (with a horrible headache) and felt really guilty.  After all, I did promise to stick with this.  Even though no one may have read that promise, I still made it and I know I made it.  But, then I realized something.  I had good reasons for not posting.  Instead of posting about my life, I was living it!

On Saturday, I spent the entire day shopping with my best friend.  She needed new clothes for work and I needed a couple of things.  Not only did I get to spend some great time talking and having fun, I also bought myself some things.  Something I never do.  Instead of posting when I got home, I spent the evening with my husband and planning for a Sunday School class I taught (more about that later).

On Sunday, I took a much needed nap after church (the really late nights at work have completely screwed up my sleep routine).  Then, we went to the grand opening of my husband's cousin's new ice cream parlor in downtown Cincinnati and had some AMAZING ice cream.

DH's cousin toasting a homemade marshmallow on top of homemade ice cream.  Yum!

Those things were important for the relationships in my life (Including the nap.  I get cranky when I'm tired.).  After realizing this, I no longer felt guilty.  I knew I could write the review and the goals for this week today.  This realization was a big thing for me!

I'm going to review my goals again this week.  I found it really helpful last week to go back and really, honestly, look at how I had done.  It made me change some of the goals I would have set for myself the next week.  So, once again, I copied over my original weekly goals and put the results in blue.

Review of Weekly Goals for 7-8-12

Spiritual Life

• Try to find a better study time.  Some options are: I didn't reach this goal this week.  Unfortunately, this week was even crazier than normal.  My abnormal sleep schedule finally caught up with me and I slept late most days.  Then, I had to run out the door early.  I'm going to try this again this week.
• First thing in the morning
• Right after my morning shower
• After lunch
• After dinner (my least favorite since I am often at work at this time)

• Be more consistent in praying for requests on my list.  I did better, but not great.
• I was really convicted at church this morning about the joy (or lack thereof) in my life lately.  I've been letting a situation in my life rob me of my joy and I have been feeling sorry for myself.  I confessed this, but need to really work on the internal dialogue I've come to use and focus on my blessings.  I need to spend a lot of time in prayer about this and also catch myself when I slip.  I caught myself several times this week and was able to make a conscious shift of focus.  I'm still not there, though.  This week's sermon on peace was just as convicting and I know I have a long way to go.  I've made a point to pray about this a lot.

Family Life - DH goes back to work Monday

• Play a board game with my kids Didn't happen.  I'm disappointed in myself for this one.  One game wouldn't take that long.  This is going back on my list.
• Have kids help with dinner one night this week That would have meant actually cooking dinner one night.  I worked Monday, Tuesday and Friday, we were at church on Wednesday, and grabbed a quick bite before the kids' baseball game on Thursday. 
• Try to get everything done before DH gets home from work so I can spend more time with him With the exception of Saturday, I did this.  But, I have to admit that it probably doesn't count much because I wasn't home most nights.

Home Life

• Clean the bathroom thoroughly. I did wipe it down most days, but didn't have time for a deep cleaning.  I did find a new trick for the shower that seems to be working.  I'll share about that in a post later this week.
• Use grout whitening pen I bought and then seal the grout I didn't have a chance with the extra work and sleeping late.  I probably won't have time this week, either. 
• Wipe down daily
• Sweep and mop kitchen and living room They got swept, but not mopped.
• Finish cleaning in the playroom/schoolroom I made some progress, but it needs more work
• Vacuum the basement Didn't get done.
• At LEAST one load of laundry a day I probably did laundry 3 days this week. 

Church Life

• Find a song to sing at church and practice Still looking for a song. 
• Attend church on Wednesday evening Check
• I have to make a note that I ended up with a new goal in this area.  My kids' Sunday school teacher had an accident in her family and needed someone to take over her class for a couple of months.  I was asked and, after praying and talking to my husband and kids, I accepted.  It is just for a couple months and I can do all my planning for the entire two months in the beginning.  So, I won't be trying to plan for Sunday school after our school year starts back up.  I taught the first class on Sunday and it went well. 

Physical Life

• Make a point to go to bed at a good hour This one became impossible this week.  I worked until 2am on Monday, 12am on Tuesday and 11:30 on Friday.  Then, on Wednesday and Thursday, I just couldn't fall asleep.  My body was too used to the late nights.
• Start tracking everything I eat!  I did great at the beginning of the week.  Then, I started letting it slip.  I'm going to work to do better this week.
• Drink more water.  I need to keep a bottle filled and at hand throughout the day. I did this most days.
• Exercise at least once this week.  I know this is smaller than last weeks, goal, but I also didn't reach that goal.  So, I'm starting even smaller.  My best friend and I have a plan to go to a dance aerobics class on Thursday. My best friend was sick on Thursday, so we couldn't go to the class.  But, I think all the walking on Saturday (and Friday) while shopping should count.  So, I'm saying I achieved this goal this week.

Social Life

• Attend dance aerobics with my best friend Didn't happen because she was sick.  Instead we shopped on Friday before I had to work and Saturday all day.
• Message another friend  Check!

Financial Life

• Update budget software everyday  Check!
• Do not overspend! I did have to buy one thing out of our "blow" money.  I try not to do that, but sometimes it happens.
• Send extra payments for debt snowball I'm sending that in today

Mental Life

• Go to library on MONDAY.  Not "sometime this week."  MONDAY!  I did go, but not until Wednesday.  I ended up having to leave for work early on Monday and that cut out our library time.  It did get done, though.
• Continue working on blog Check!

Homeschool Life

• Put together bookcase Check!
• Finish organizing schoolroom I worked on it, but it isn't done, yet
• Start printing notebooking pages for next year and create a filing system for them Didn't get to this.
• Buy math curriculum I emailed several people with used copies.  But, haven't heard back, yet.  I need to do some more searching.
• Start planning Five in a Row lessons and buy a couple of the books  Didn't get to this, yet.

Overall, there were a lot of unexpected things that happened this week.  I worked an extra day I hadn't planned, had to leave early and got home late another day, and a few other things.  I don't handle these kinds of changes well.  As a result, a lot of things just don't get done.  This is something I really need to work on.  

I'll come back after lunch to do my weekly goals for this week.  Now, I have to get back to living life and take my kids to the dentist!

Hello, Out There!

I am so new at this blogging stuff.  A baby, really.  Blogger lets me know how many page views I've had each day and where the people are coming from.  Mostly, they are coming directly to my site (typing in the URL - I think this is the one real-life person I've told about this blog) and from Stumbleupon. 

It is also telling me I had 23 page views yesterday!  Wow!  I have no clue if these people are clicking right past or actually reading.  I just installed Google Analytics, so I might know more tomorrow.  But, in the meantime, if anyone out there is actually reading, I would love to hear from you!  Drop me a line or leave a comment.  I'd love to know if I'm just here talking to myself or if there is someone out there reading these words.

Details, Details

I'm a perfectionist.  I know this sounds strange having already confessed that my house is often a mess.  But, there is a strange connection between being a perfectionist and having a messy house.  The first time I heard about this was from Flylady and it was like a light bulb.  Yes!  That makes sense! 

You see, I am often consumed by the details of a job.  This can be a good thing when planning an event, but not so great when it comes to cleaning my house. 

Cleaning my desk takes hours.  Why?  Because it has to be done right.  Each paper has to be analyzed to determine if it should be kept or thrown away.  Then, it must be decided exactly how the keeping or throwing away should happen.  Does it get shredded?  Thrown in the trash?  Filed (and where exactly)?  Put in a new location?  It is exhausting!  So, as a result, I often just never start.

Right now, I am sitting here at a messy desk dreading that, tomorrow, I am going to have to clean it.   A normal person could probably take five minutes right now and get it done.  But, not me.  I look at those pink papers on top (a wedding invitation) and go back and forth about if I need to keep them.  I have all the info saved on my phone, but what if something happens and I need it again?  But, if I keep them, where can I put them that I will remember where they are?  So, they have sat on top of my desk for a couple of months.  I know where they are and can find them at a moment's notice.  In fact, about five minutes ago they were at the bottom of the pile, but I needed them to make a reservation for a hotel and was able to find them right away.

This is something I really need to work on!

My Messy Desk

Mental and Homeschool Life

The title of this post made me chuckle.  Mental and homeschool in the same sentence?  Am I mental for trying to homeschool my kids?  Sometimes it feels like it!

These are the last of my weekly goal categories.  If anyone out there has actually borne with me through them all, THANK YOU!

Mental Life

 

Where I was

I have always loved reading.  I'm always in the middle of a book.  As a result of this love, I majored in English education in college.  I learned a lot in college and, until I started having symptoms of sleep apnea, I actually enjoyed my classes.  I've always enjoyed learning new things.

Where I am and Where I Hope to Be

Currently, reading on my own, listening to sermons and podcasts, and studying for what I'm going to teach the kids is the only learning I do.  But, I'm not being stagnant.  You'd be surprised how much you can learn when studying to teach kids!

Eventually, when the kids are older, I'd like to take some classes.  Not necessarily college classes for credit.  But, my church does offer college Bible classes and I've always wanted to learn to really sew.  Until then, books offer a lot.

Homeschool Life

Where I Was

If you had asked me when my kid were born if I would consider homeschooling, I might have laughed in your face (how rude of me).  I had never even dreamed of it!  Then, the kids got to preschool age.  Not only did we not have the money to send them to a preschool, we didn't think it was necessary.    Growing up, no one went to preschool.  What was the point?  Especially since I was perfectly capable of teaching my kids their ABC's and 123's.

So, I did.  I used a lot of information from the internet.  I quickly learned that the fastest way to search for these things was by searching for "homeschool preschool."  The more I did these searches and visited these sites, the more I read about homeschooling.  The more I read about homeschooling, the more I began thinking it was a good idea.

The first thing that struck me was that my kids could learn at their own pace.  You see, I was already having to sometimes do searches for "homeschool kindergarten" instead of preschool.  My kids were ahead.  And I've been there.  I remembered how bored I was in school and how I'd get in trouble for talking when I finished my work early.  I remembered how, by high school, I had completely stopped doing homework.  After all, I was able to be B's and C's by just acing the tests, so why would I put in the extra effort?  And forget study skills.  I never had to study, so I never had reason to develop those skills.  All of this came back to bite me when I got to college.  The idea that my kids could learn at their own pace - always being challenged and, in the end, being ahead of their peers instead of learning the same things as everyone else - thrilled me.  

Then, I read the statistics.  Homeschool kids actually develop independent learning skills.  They do better in college.  They LOVE to LEARN!  That is what I wanted for my kids.  Desperately!

Our "Schoolroom"

Finally, I realized that I could teach them from a Biblical perspective.  I have no illusions that I can protect my kids from the world completely.  But, I can , while they are young, protect them from things they can't handle, yet.  I can help them build their spiritual muscles before they will have to lift the heavy weights. 

There are many other reasons that I wanted to homeschool.  But, these are the things that first convinced me we should give it a try.  And that is what we did.  My husband had a hard time seeing past the stereotypes of awkward, weird homeschool kids.  But, he agreed to give it a year.  And then another.  He is now to the point where he sees how great they are doing.   He still has concerns about the social aspects, but he's coming around.

Where I Am and Where I Hope to Be

Decimal Street from Math-U-See

The kids are going into second grade next year.  We love homeschooling!  I get to combine my love of teaching with my love for my kids.  It doesn't get any better than that!

This year, I'm going to be trying some new things and sticking with some things that worked really well last year.  Here is our curriculum list:

• Five in a Row (I LOVE that it is literature based)
• Math-U-See Beta (This worked really well for us last year and the kids breezed through it while still learning what they need to know)
• Sequential Spelling (I'm a horrible speller.  Thank God for spell check.  But, this makes sense to  me and my kids are really getting it.)

I supplement with the internet and the library.   We also have museum and zoo passes that help a lot.

Science!

I'm hoping that my husband continues to see how much the kids are learning and realizes that they have lots of friends and are doing fine socially.  But, most of all, I pray that God will show me where he wants us each year - still at home or in a public school.  In my dreams, we continue homeschooling through high school.  But, I'm open to the possibility that this may not be God's plan.  So, we are taking it year by year to see where God leads.

Financial Life

This is probably one of the areas of my life where I have purposely changed the most over the last 6 years or so.  I have worked hard to make some necessary changes.  It is also the area where I have the most concrete, measurable goals.  And I owe a lot of it to Dave Ramsey.

Where I Was

In debt.  Stupid.  Hopeless.  Yep, that’s where I was.  I was a complete idiot when it came to money.  Before getting married, I was already in debt up to my eyeballs.  I had credit cards, a car payment, and student loans.  LOTS of student loans.  And, like I mentioned the other day, no degree to show for it.  I was in such bad shape that, when my DH asked my parents for my hand in marriage, the first thing they said to him was, "You know she's bad with money, right?"  Sadly, the thing they didn't know is that my husband-to-be wasn't much better.  (And thankfully, my husband loved me enough to ask me anyway!)

So, we started our life together with debt.  Two kids later, and we were in trouble!  We put everything on credit cards and had no plan for the future.  That is when I found Dave Ramsey and read his book, The Total Money Makeover.  I can't say that when I read the book and shared it with my husband we IMMEDIATELY changed our lives.  Instead, it took a while.  We added a few of the ideas like $1000 emergency fund and living within our means.  And we DID stop using credit.  

However, around this time, the economy was getting really bad.  Like many other families, we took a hit and money got really tight.  While we weren't adding to our debt, we also weren't making much progress in paying it off.  Because our budget was so tight, I got a part time job in the evenings to help out.  I'm very blesses that my mom watches my kids for me until my husband gets off work and picks them up.

Where I Am

Slowly, our income has started to recover.  This January, we started Financial Peace University at a local church and really started to get intense about paying off our debt.  I am the "nerd" and create the budget every month.  While I enjoy the process (I LOVE details), being the saver and the one to say, "No, we don't have the money right now" does not come naturally to me.  Seeing our progress helps, though.  I've learned the hard way that I have to focus on the next little step rather than the entire debt or I will become overwhelmed and start to lose hope.  

We still have a ways to go, but I can see the progress we are making.  And we are learning more every month.  This month, I wasn't able to sign up for any shifts at work ahead of time.  While it has worked out and I am getting all the shifts I need, we weren't guaranteed that money.  So, we created our budget with just my husband's income.  To say things were tight is a huge understatement!  Then, we made a list of where any extra money would go.  It turned out that this worked better than our regular budget!  You see, it tricked up into thinking we didn't have any money and being more resourceful.  In the end, we were able to put money toward things that we normally would have put off like clothes and school supplies.  Plus, we had extra money to throw at our debt snowball!  I think we will be sticking with the budgeting plan from now on.

Where I Hope to Be
Like I said, we have very concrete goals in this area.  Most of them come from Dave Ramsey's baby steps.  We are currently on Baby Step 2:  the debt snowball.  This means we are paying off all our debts, smallest to largest.  We are working hard to pay them off one at a time and our number one goal is to be DEBT FREE!!!!  After that, we move to Baby Step 3: 3-6 months worth of expenses in an emergency fund.  Once we have that saved, our next big goal is to buy a new house.  We have outgrown our current house.  The kids - a boy and a girl - still share a room.  That is fine for now, but eventually we'll need another bedroom.  At this time, we'd also like for me to be able to quit my job and be a full-time stay-at-home mom.

Throughout this process there has been one lesson that keeps coming back over-and-over.  That is the lesson of contentment.  I still struggle with this at times.  But, I'm learning to focus on my blessings and not the things I don't have.  The Bible has a lot to say on this matter, too.  

Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned , in whatsoever state I am , therewith to be content. 

Phillipians 4:11

And having food and raiment let us be therewith content .

1 Timothy 6:8 KJV 

Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have : for he hath said , I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

Hebrews 13:5 KJV

I am so thankful for the promises of the Father.  I pray that one day, I will have this contentment thing down.  In the meantime, I often catch myself coveting the things I do not have and having to stop myself and think about all the wonderful things I do have instead.

 

Physical Life

I'm a little afraid of how whiny sounding I might come across in this next post in my Setting Goals series.  I often feel like I am falling apart!  I've joked since I was in my early teens (I'm talking 13, 14 years-old) that I had the body of a 40 year old.  So, now, almost 20 years later, that makes me having the body of a 60 year old!  It really isn't that bad.  But, some days it can feel like it.

Where I Was

My physical problems started when I was around 12.  I was diagnosed with scoliosis and went to physical therapy for a while.  But, my back would often just give out.  It would freeze up and I wasn't able to move from whatever position I was in for about 30 minutes or so.  Standing for long periods of time would cause me severe pain.  It wasn't until I was pregnant with my twins and my sciatica acted up so bad I literally couldn't walk that I visited a chiropractor for the first time.  Since then, whenever my back gives me trouble that is the first place I head.  I wish I could afford to go on a regular basis, but I just can't.

My early teens was also when I was diagnosed with asthma.  I rarely have trouble with that, though, since it is only activity induced and I can control it by taking breaks when I get winded.

My problems continued when my knees started to hurt when I was around 20.  I eventually had surgery on one.  Then, about two years ago they got to the point where I couldn't walk up the steps.  I was terrified that they would want to do surgery again (if they were hurting this bad again, what good was surgery?!), but thankfully, the doctor just gave me some shots in my knees instead.  Now, they are staring to get a little sore again.  But, when it gets too bad, I'll just head back to the doctor for more shots.

On top of these muscular/skeletal issues, I have sleep apnea.  In college, I started to have problems.  My memory was almost non-existent, I was tired all the time, and I was weepy and moody.  The doctors diagnosed me with depression.  For the next seven years I tried many different types of anti-depressants.  While I was no longer as moody, I was still very tired all the time and my memory was horrible.  I had trouble waking myself up and slept all day.  I eventually ended up having to drop out of college (it was a little more complicated, but I'll tell that story some other time).

Then, I read something someone had written about sleep apnea.  I immediately knew that that is what I had!  Sleep apnea is when your airways close up while you are sleeping and you stop breathing.  In order to start breathing again, your body wakes up.  You often don't wake up enough to remember it.  But, you are still waking up.  This means that you are getting less sleep and the sleep you are getting is very poor quality.

This results in sleep deprivation.  Some symptoms may be (*symptoms I experienced):
1. Tiredness*
2. Irritability, moodiness, and nervousness*
3. Inability to tolerate stress*
4. Problems with concentration and memory*
5. Behavioral, learning, or social problems* (I never wanted to go out with friends and it effected my friendships)
6. Frequent infections
7. Blurred vision
8. Change in appetite*
9. Lack of tolerance*

If anyone happens to read this and wants more info on sleep apnea, the American Sleep Apnea Association has great information on their website.

As you might guess, all of these problems add up.  It makes physical activity difficult and I've used that excuse to not exercise.  This has resulted in me being overweight.  I'd love to blame my weight completely on these physical limitations.  But, that would be dishonest.  Bad eating habits play a huge part in my weight problems.  I know because a few years ago I actually lost 60 lbs doing Weight Watchers.  I was doing great and felt much better overall!  However, when my DH had some medical problems and spent a lot of time in and out of hospitals, I just sort of gave up.  Over the next couple years I gained it all back.

When I first when to the doctor to ask about sleep apnea, she told me "There is nothing wrong with you that losing weight won't cure."  I no longer go to this doctor because of this.  You see, while she is right that losing weight would help in all these areas, she was also VERY wrong.  My back, knees, and asthma all began when I was at a very healthy weight.  My sleep apnea began when I was just a little overweight.  The major weight gain didn't start until I took my first anti-depressant and gained 30 lbs in just two months.  This trend continued for a few years until I had gained 100 lbs.  So, while I know my weight makes things worse, it isn't a cause of any of these problems.  It is a horrible cycle.

 

Where I Am

My back still causes me problems occasionally.  But, now I know to head to the chiropractor.  My knees are the same way.  They hurt sometimes, but I now have the option of getting a shot that helps a lot.  Both of these things do limit me in some ways.  However, they don't limit me completely.  My asthma is the same way.  If I take lots of breaks and pay attention to my breathing, I can still do physical activity.

My CPAP mask

When I was officially diagnosed and started CPAP treatment, my life changed.  I was able to wean off of the anti-depressants within 2 weeks and have never been back on them since.  I rarely take naps anymore.  I'm still a little more tired than most people and require nine hours of sleep every night to be at my best.  But, that is much better than sleeping all day like I did before.  If I go a night without my CPAP machine I can immediately tell the difference.  My first symptom is often irritability and crying for no reason.  So, I am very protective of my sleep.  Unfortunately, there are sometimes factors I can't control (a stuffy nose that makes wearing my mask impossible, getting home late from work and having to be up early the next morning, etc.)

When it comes to my weight, I really have some work to do.  I don't eat a lot of junk food, but I don't eat healthy stuff for meals, either.  And I definitely need to work on portion control.  According to all the charts I've seen, I need to lose about 110 lbs to be a healthy weight.  That's hard to imagine because looking at old pictures where I weight about 25 lbs more than that, I look THIN.

Where I Want to Be

My biggest goals for my physical life have to do with my weight.  This is the area that I have the most control over and it will effect the other things (my back, my knees, sleep apnea, etc), too.

Starting this week I am going to work on tracking every bite I eat.  My wonderful aunt gave me a Weight Watchers starter kit to help since I can't afford the monthly fee anymore.  I know I can do it if I just DO IT!  Tracking my food made such a huge difference last time and I need to do it again.  I'm hoping doing this blog will help with a feeling of accountability.  Even though I don't really have any readers, I can easily pretend someone out there is reading this and watching to see how I do.

I also need to get up and get moving!  I have an exercise video that I can do without causing myself pain, but that still gives me a good workout.  I need to actually pull it out and do it a few times a week!  I also need to walk more when I can.  Since we don't have sidewalks, walking around here doesn't work too well.  But, I can drive the kids to a park with a walking/riding trail, put them on their bikes, and get a good walk in.

I also need to post some before pics, but I honestly don't have any pictures of myself other than just my face.  Its sad.  This picture of my best friend and me at my sister's wedding is probably the best I have right now (Yes, it is the same pic from the other day).  I'm the one of the left.  I'm going to have to take some "official" pictures.  After all, I was wearing Spanx in that wedding picture and I think that is cheating. Not to mention, I'm turned to the side a bit and have a flowing dress and flowers to cover things up.  It won't be pretty, but it is necessary.